"Addicted to love"
Based on a true story

A young girl bares her heart on her failed relationships.

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Cathy*, a young attractive girl, is a high achiever in her grades as well as in sports. In Secondary One, she had a record of 20 guys courting her. However, due to her popularity, she became a favorite gossip topic in school. The girls hated her. They would insult her by calling her nasty names such as 'slut' or 'loose woman'.

Unknown to many, Cathy grew up in an unhappy and dysfunctional family. Her parents divorced when she was nine. As a result, she turned to dating to fill the lack of love and acceptance in her life. She enjoyed dating as the feeling of being hugged and kissed made her feel wanted and loved. So she had one relationship after another.

Cathy started dating when she was just twelve and her relationships usually lasted between 2 days to 9 months. "No one understood how I really felt and what I needed, so I went into many relationships, trying to fill my emptiness. I did not stay single at all throughout my schooling years." Cathy confides bravely. In fact, being attached became like an addiction, so that she could satisfy her need to feel loved and to feel important.

Over the years, Cathy went in and out of a string of relationships. She worked hard and she got into a university of her dreams. In her first year in university, she thought she finally met the perfect guy of her life. Jack* was an older guy, was very good looking, well-to-do and was also an avid athlete. He was enthusiastic about pursuing her and they were attached not long after her recent break-up. Unlike the previous ones, Cathy was very serious about this relationship.

But after some months in the relationship, serious problems started to appear. "We quarreled often soon after our 'honeymoon' period. During the quarrels, he would be violent to me, like screaming vulgarities and even hit me." Cathy recalled the fights painfully. However, breaking up was not an option for her this time because she had given her virginity to Jack.

Despite the rocky relationship, Cathy continued to give in to his sexual desires, in hope that things would turn better for them. However, to Cathy's despair, the situation did not improve. Instead, she just felt dirty and used by Jack. "I gave in to sex because I thought he will change and be a better boyfriend tomorrow. But things still could not work out," Cathy described her inner turmoil.

No one, not even her close friends knew about her plight. She felt so trapped by her situation that she became suicidal. She attempted taking sleeping pills and even cutting herself. Finally, in Cathy's desperation to make the relationship work, she decided to turn to her last resort...God.

Though Cathy received Christ into her life when she was 14, God was not a part of her life. She did not care about her faith and was not serious about God until this crisis of her life. "This particular night, I was crying badly over my relationship with Jack. Suddenly, I remembered I had a Bible long time ago and managed to find it out. It. In my hopelessness, I held tightly to the Bible and cried out for God to help me in my mess."

Cathy recalled the turning point of her life. That night, her sincere faith and prayer began her journey of recovery. Cathy picked up the courage to break up with Jack and she stopped her 'addiction' of dating. She remained single after her break-up with Jack. She has learnt to find love and self-worth in God rather than relationships. "I learnt a deep life lesson- God will never play with my feelings." Cathy recounts.

After a period of counseling and being supported by a group of Christian friends, she recovered gradually from her past hurts and has even forgiven what Jack has done to her. Today, Cathy has a very different perspective on love. She realized how deceived and foolish she had been to think that human relationships alone could satisfy her need for love and self-worth. She now knows that only God's unconditional and never changing love can fully fill the deep longings of her heart. She is no longer an addict!

God is Love: It's Unconditional. God is Love, and His love is very different from human love. God's love is unconditional, and it's not based on feelings or emotions. He doesn't love us because we're lovable or because we make Him feel good; He loves us because He is love. He created us to have a loving relationship with Him, and He sacrificed His own Son (who also willingly died for us) to restore that relationship. If you want to know this love - true love -- get to know God. He is ready to pour out His love on you, and He wants to teach you how to love others as He loves you. (adapted from http://www.allaboutgod.com/god-is-love.htm)

1John 4:7-10
Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.

*All names are changed to respect the individuals mentioned in this true account.

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